Getting Excited

It is so easy to get caught up in the excitement that new developments bring so you can imagine my happy dance today when I took delivery of these..

but it also means a lot of self induced pressure.  Either I will turn out to be an author or I will be considering a change to being a PR consultant, I know which I want it to be but I have created the beginnings of hype and question myself whether the product will live up to the billing.  I know every single person reading this at some point will have either faced the fear or come to face it and it is almost paralysing.  It would be so easy to suddenly disappear, hide behind the distance a computer screen gives and pretend that the big bad world does not exist, I could fill note books just writing for myself and never risk failing so publicly.  I have gained in confidence by writing here and sharing it with all of you wonderfully supportive people but soon I know I must face a wider audience some of whom will not like what I write and will not necessarily be considerate in their methods of expressing their views.  I have come to understand that we writers are by nature masochistic, we thrive the doubts and self loathing others avoid.  We are in many ways children that never grew up, we still have our wild and vivid imaginations mixed with a desperate need for approval, we know we cannot please everyone yet still wish to do so.

Ultimately I know what ever happens I shall regret not taking the chance far more than anything negative which can come from it.  Anyway back to the writing before I talk myself into rocking in the corner.