Getting Intimate

Okay there comes a point in a book, well okay in most fantasies of any genre, where someone has to get it on.  Okay so it did happen in chapter two so you didn’t have to wait long.  But it is further into my novel where it gets uncomfortable.  I will admit that the first sex scene I wrote I did blush a little as I wrote it.  But if I am honest after that it came fairly easily.  It could not be a medieval fantasy without its share of rape and pillaging.  The problem starts when I am trying to write lovemaking as opposed to violent, rough sex and rape.

Am I the only one who finds lust so much easier to write than love? And if so what does it say about me?

I think in part its due to the visuality of the words.  If I say he thrust into her or impaled her there is no doubt as the the force used.  Words like caressed can be so ambigeous, finding the right word to explain the exact nature of the touch is harder.  Maybe this is due to my inexperience in writing on the subject.  Lets face it unless you decide to write a novel, the only experience most of us have are in naughty messages to our other halves.  They of course have the bonus of knowing exactly what it is that presses our buttons so even if the message is poorly written they get the message.

I have had the pleasure of reading several blogs by other writers some of whom seem to have far more ease in this department than me.  Or at least their writing would suggest they do, I know one author did tell me she still finds it awkward.  I wonder whether it is because writing the lovemaking scenes is more intimate.  Are you giving away part of yourself, your own experiences.  When I write a rape scene it is what I believe the character would do, whereas with a love scene does my own experiences creep into it a little more.

I would love to hear other peoples thoughts on this.  Is there a difference between writing love and lust?