WordPress what are you playing at?

I woke up one morning last week to about thirty notifications regarding pending comments from WordPress. I thought wow a new subscriber who has been reading my posts, or maybe, a few subscribers reading a few each, I scratched my head and opened my email folder then realised the WordPress hated me. For some reason best known to themselves, they had decided to turn off the spam filters overnight, most of the spam was in foreign languages so I have no idea what they were trying to tell me but to be fair most of those in ‘English’ were a mystery to me as well.

So I decided that it would be amusing to see what my spam says about me, I also have chosen a couple from my normal email spam as well just for your amusement. So first up from WP spam…

“Creating a hangover emergency system handy won’t look extremely important today, but when the time will come you’ll be happy to have the needed what to remedy a hangover. Making a hangover emergency system is a simple method that everyone can carry out. Additionally you can include those things you’ll need or don’t add the items you will not likely use.”
vegan hiking boots

So as you can see, I think I am supposed to create and emergency hangover kit, how do they know how bad my hangovers are? Why do I need hiking boots for a hangover? Why should my boots be vegan? Do vegan boots cure your hangover quicker? Judging by the writing a do suspect the writer may have been drug and was planning their own hangover kit for when they got up the next morning.

Next…

“My spouse and i too feel a new mommy that did not need to be expecting a baby. Not really because of its physicality, which i may handle needlessly to say. Things i couldn’t handle has been the romance patient or perhaps don’t have thereof which i recognized I needed however did not acquire. The actual shipping has been worse, using feuding loved ones with an unsupportive”

Okay, I have no idea what this person’s issues are! Maybe the wife got pregnant and he isn’t getting laid, maybe he thinks his relatives should make his wife sleep with him or they should sleep with him? Let’s just say this poor man has issues and I cannot think of anything that could be shipped to him that would be of any assistance.

Next up…

“If this sounds like your circumstances, contemplate going for a crack through actively trying to conceive for a couple of a few months. (Which may be easier said than done in case your grow older making you feel as if you are rushing from the time.)”

Okay, I am single, and even if I were I certainly would not be cracking on to conceive. In fact given my medical history getting pregnant would be just about one of the worst possible things that could happen to me, but this one does worry me slightly because there are people out there who can’t have kids and this would be an extra slap in the face if it slipped through a spam filter.

I probably gained weight already Mary looking at your coffee cakes. I can’t pick just one but all of them ahhah. thanks for the roundup and for the gi!vawayeHappy SUnday!”

I think this person may have been out on the beer with the first person and may need a hangover kit. I have no idea who Mary is but I am partial to a nice piece of coffee cake so if you know her, send her my way with it. and I think maybe the next two were with them.

“More posts of this quytlia. Not the usual c***, please”

“Your answer lifts the ingleeitlnce of the debate.”

I know they want people to click on their links but calling my normal posts crap is really not going to do you any favours, however, I have to say compared to some of the posts in my normal emails that is quite tame.

“You know what! Go fuck yourself. Shithole. How can you be that evil to me? Evil bitch.”

It would seem I have upset Claire, I have absolutely no idea what I could have done to her though the fact she has to ask how I can be that evil does rather give the game away that she really does not actually know me. The other thing I get a lot of is the fact the spam bots cannot work out I am actually female, I imagine the first four letters of my name flag me as a man, given the amount of mail order brides they think I might need, as well as the Viagra to cope with them, but what does amuse me, is this thing of trying to insult someone into clicking, using things like this,

“Hey YOU,

Please stop emailing me your photos. I am engaged now.
We broke up a long time ago. MOVE ON!”

“Hey Scumbag,

Stop stalking me and my friend or I will report you. You piece of shit, cock-sucker douche. I do not know why you are doing this! You slept together once, only once. It does not mean anything. Have not you heard of hook up?

So, f*** off and leave us alone”

“You mad bitch! You made me hate my guts last night. You are an ASS. You disgust me. It makes me wanna puke when I think of you. YOU SON OF BITCH. Do not you dare to do that to me again, sucker.”

Now you see it is actually a good job I am single and spam savvy because if not I might have thought that my bloke had been up to no good on my computer. I would have assumed as my computer always has my accounts signed in that he had used my email to pick up said women from dubious sites. So while I pop off now and check up on the numerous giftcards I have won to American stores we do not have in the UK, I hope I have at least given you a giggle, I may be a mad bitch, and occasionally, I may be evil but I swear I don’t have one night stands lol.

Lazy Sunday #40

I awoke this morning to the news that once more those who seek to change our way of life have attacked the innocent, they do not have the courage to attack those who can fight back nor do they attack those in power but instead those going about their lives in peace harming no one else, I shared a post this morning on Facebook from my wonderful friend Simon Fisher-Becker, a simple message to the terrorists, you will not win. I am not going to go into this more now because it is Sunday and we shall carry on as normal and share the love and they will not alter our lives no matter how they try.

  1. I love seeing blog posts about places I have been and this one is no exception. I went with Uni a few years ago (I was a mature student) however because I was one crutches between spinal surgeries I could not explore the grounds or the ruins but if you get the chance to visit this place you should, and also take the time to learn the background story to Bess, she was one hell of a lady https://janerisdon.wordpress.com/2017/06/02/__trashed/
  2. As you know from my book reviews I am a lazy reviewer, I give you my basic thoughts, feelings and a score, I don’t go into real depth, partly because after studying Literature at University I know how boring a book becomes once you start over analysing it, but I do love a good review where they take the time to explore in depth without turning it into an academic paper This Doctor Who reviewer does just that and then it is we in the comments who get carried away with the petty details lol check her out https://inkashlings.wordpress.com/2017/06/02/doctor-who-the-pyramid-at-the-end-of-the-world-review/
  3. You may have heard me talk a little about this thing happening in October, you know the one where I go stand near lots of fabulous authors and hope someone bothers to come and say hello to me lol, I was worrying about what I was going to put any books I might see into but it seems the amazing organisers have it covered but even if your not coming I think you should grab yourself one anyway https://hourglassevents.wordpress.com/author/hourglassevents/
  4. I found a new blog today, let’s just say I have read this one post and am green with envy at the event she got to attend but I am sure she will prove to be as delightful as her writing then I can forgive her for making me jealous https://sophieetallis.wordpress.com/2017/06/02/making-hay-with-neil-gaiman-stephen-fry-and-chris-riddell/
  5. I have mentioned before that I have been looking into the whole imprint thing for print publishing, this is another post which explains the situation really well https://justcanthelpwriting.wordpress.com/2017/05/11/what-i-learned-about-isbns/

I am going to pop off now and read some more about medieval torture methods, I mean how else should a girl spend a sunny Sunday afternoon, have a great week see you same time, same place next week.

Lazy Sunday #39

Okay so Sunday is almost over as I write this but to be fair my daughter has been here most of the day and I cooked Sunday dinner so it did not turn out to be totally lazy. The world was a darker place for a little while this week and things like writing and blogging seemed foolish and frivolous, as I titled the vlog this week ‘No Words’ sums up my feelings still but I will talk about that later in the week in a separate post. So on with a few posts to little the mood a little I hope and spread some love and light in the only way we can, by carrying on with life as normal.

  1. I love this post, admittedly I do spend half my time thinking in terms of medieval technology but what we consider an antique was once cutting edge  https://quirkybooks.wordpress.com/2017/05/19/devon-county-show-technology-vs-crafts/
  2.  There are some blogs I follow because they provide a quick fix of joy and this is one of them, I love this photo they have shared and would love to dive into that glorious blue water https://wanderlusttina.wordpress.com/2017/05/27/split-view-waterfall-jamaica/
  3.  One of the other things I love about reading blogs is you get to see places that you would never get to in real life, let’s face it the world is a big place, so much to see and do and for most of us we lack the time, resources and freedom from commitments to get to a fraction of them, so seeing others journeys is almost as good https://exxtracts.wordpress.com/2017/05/28/jew-town-kochi/
  4.  I had a wonderful interaction on another bloggers post regarding colours that compliment my hair now it is purple, she has followed this up with a really cool post about the fashion of going a little crazy with your hair and how to manage your wardrobe to match https://valentinaexpressions.com/2017/05/28/balayage-and-ombre-hair-valentina-cirasola-designer/
  5. Some times we just need a little light relief, something that we click on and it just makes us smile https://thestoryreadingapeblog.com/2017/05/19/eleven-wishes-for-you/

The one thing these posts all have in common is they span the globe, they remind us of the fact we have more in common with 99.9% of people than we have differences with that 0.01% who seek to destroy the way of life we love, they will not win unless we let them poison our heart, take care of each other and remember a smile to a stranger can create ripples that might be what is needed to heal our world.

Looking towards the future!

Over the last couple of months while I have been suffering from lethargy in terms of posting I have been working away behind the scenes and I thought today I would take the chance to fill you in on some of what is going on in the background.

The first thing is I have signed up for a course on Exploring Copyright: History, Culture, Industry it is a free 4 week course, just 3 hours a week. you might wonder why I would take on doing extra study when I am already snowed under and I am not gaining a qualification from it but I am looking at it as a chance to gain knowledge which may be useful going forward. We all know in this Internet age that cyber-piracy is something many authors are coming up against, work plagiarised or republished on pirate sites where they are given away for free, and while some will argue that gaining readers this way is a counterbalance to the loss of earning on that book, for others it is a loss they cannot afford. We all write the copyright notice at the front of our books but how much of it do we understand, what actual rights we have and protections are offered by it. If you are interested you can find more details here.

The other thing I have been looking into is publishing options, it was brought up on FB a couple of weeks ago that there were other options for print on demand other than KDP and Createspace, so I took a little time to look into it. The most popular way is the use Createspace however I have found a suggestion that long term it may be best to use a combination of Createspace and Ingram Sparks, you can read the article I found helpful here. The trilogy I am working on at the minute will remain on Createspace as setting up the other requires money to invest in buying ISBN numbers but I have begun the process of getting ready for this for future series. When you buy the block of numbers you register them to an imprint name and I have decided to go with Raven’s Rest Press, I have set up an email, FB and Twitter to grab the name there, I will be adding the logo to my other books and I would not be averse to perhaps collaborating with other indie authors who want to publish under the name and help promote each others work. I am not going to  go too much into things here as obviously I am still setting it all up but I will keep you up to date with my experiences. Right off to the day job now after all until the books start selling I have to fund the present as well as investing in my future.

A – Z Reflections 2017 – #AtoZChallenge

I had hoped to have been posting my survivor badge and talking about how well this years challenge has gone, well truth it 2017 I FAILED!!!!

I did manage about a third of the posts they were posted late and I did not feel I really wanted to get stuck in. The truth was that my normal exploits in A – Z have been planned ahead of time, I pick a theme research a couple of options for each letter than go with the one that interests me the most. This year I was already chasing my tail, theme reveal day arrived and I had not even given it any thought, I should possibly have stuck with my gut reaction at that point which was to skip this year but instead I thought I could wing it. I made a snap decision to do the dictionary thing without considering how it would play out. I mean fair enough I did drop lucky with the words I got, partly I suspect due to the dictionary I was using being one I have a had a while that maybe fell open at pages I had previously use, but that luck could not have held out for the whole thing, in fact the next word I had picked for M was mandible which would have ended with a post on wrestling.

So what did I learn, well first I need to be prepared better, I need to pick a theme ahead of time which excites me and makes me want to write about it. I need to begin preparing the posts well in advance, research and write them with at least a week in advance so I don’t end up falling behind when life gets busy. Secondly I learnt that when I fall behind I have a tendency to want to quit, and while knowing when to call it quits is not a bad thing I need to learn not to talk myself out of doing things because it might involve knuckling down and focusing my energy. Some times we can actually learn more from our failings than our successes, they teach us our own strengths and weaknesses, and we all have plenty of both. I find that when I am doing badly in one area of my life I tend to find everything is going badly and becomes hard work, for example being tired and stressed at work makes me grumpy at home and makes it harder for me to focus to write, this gives me two options to either try to be happy all the time, which I am pretty sure is impossible without serious drugs, or to learn to compartmentalise more, and to force myself to sit at the computer and write no matter what my mood even if it means writing something completely different to the piece I an working on at that time. I have also been struggling to fill my journal in lately which again goes alongside this lethargy I have been feeling in general.

Some times it does us good to really stop and think about what is going on with us, why we are struggling, are we taking too much on? Are outside influences having a negative impact? In my case I think it was simply poor time management skills combined with a lack or direction both in terms of writing , blogging and life generally, hopefully the writing of this post it actually part of me turning this around.

K is for kindle – #AtoZChallenge

kindle1

[kin-dl]
verb (used with object), kindled, kindling.

1.

to start (a fire); cause (a flame, blaze, etc.) to begin burning.

2.

to set fire to or ignite (fuel or any combustible matter).

3.

to excite; stir up or set going; animate; rouse; inflame:

He kindled their hopes of victory.

4.

to light up, illuminate, or make bright:

Happiness kindled her eyes.
verb (used without object), kindled, kindling.

5.

to begin to burn, as combustible matter, a light, fire, or flame.

6.

to become aroused or animated.

7.

to become lighted up, bright, or glowing, as the sky at dawn or the eyes with ardor.
And the timer begins…
This is another one of those words where the first meaning that springs to mind is not one listed in the dictionary, until a few years ago these meanings would have all rattled round my head but now Kindle is a trade name for my ebook reader. Don’t get me wrong I do still prefer real books but my Kindle is a life saver when going on long journeys, and free ebooks have been a great way to find new authors that I can then happily invest my limited funds in at a later date.  In one way of course, the very name Kindle for the device, ties in with one of the original meanings, because if you find a good book to read upon it then it does indeed kindle the imagination. Maybe on a winters evening you could even light a bonfire, using kindling of course, then sit with your Kindle and allow it to set your mind ablaze round the fire, while paying suitable attention to the actual fire of course, I have recently bought a incinerator bin so when the weather allows a few dry days I hope to sit by that as it burns my garden rubbish and enjoy a book in peace, of course dry weather also means having to wait until no washing is out and no one is having a BBQ as rose wood can be quite smoky.
I have to admit I do like having fires, even without reading a book just sitting watching the flames can let the imagination run lose, the pictures you can see in the flames the way the embers glow and move as the fire dies, so many chances to think on things. I grew up living in a coal board house where we had coal fires and there is something very comforting about sitting reading by a nice warm fire but I have to admit I do like the ease of modern heating systems where the house can be kept warm with the turn of a thermostat instead of getting up in the cold and having to wait for the fire to be built and lit to get warm, in an ideal home I would love to have both.
The timer has pinged so time to do some house work then get another post done.