Previously I discussed having a story rejected and then published the story for feedback from you guys, (if you missed it you can read it here), which I have to say was very positive. I have actually received official feedback from the competition itself and their reasons for rejection were not the ones I thought they would be but actually turn out to be something I have had before on my flash fiction. This is what they had to say…
– I really liked the ending to the story, but it ultimately couldn’t outweigh the things that I felt needed work.
– My biggest issue with this story is that it’s essentially six paragraphs of exposition. You have such an interesting plot—the fashion show of a lifetime ruined by a SWAT operation—and you get us no closer to it than the day after. Why not the day of? Why can’t we live and experience this catastrophe for ourselves as the horror unfolds? You could even keep the phone call at the end. You’d be sacrificing nothing and giving the readers so much more.
– I liked the plot of the fashion show a lot, but the element I had issues with was the criminal. I didn’t buy a SWAT team takedown of a bank robber. Drug Kingpin? Yes. Organized Crime Boss? Yes. Terrorist? Yes. But not a bank robber.
– I also had issues with him attending in the first place. Given the security and scrutiny around banks, bank robbers are either petty criminals who are caught quickly or massively organized heists. In the second case, they’re rarely referred to as “bank robbers.” In any case, the choice of the particular type of criminal I found just jarring enough to take me out of the story a little.
– I think there’s a lot here that’s great, but I felt the heavy use of flashback did it a disservice and some of the logic didn’t add up.
– Great use of flashback, and I like the premise!
– You’ve done a great job with flashback in here. I would’ve liked a little bit of dialogue, but overall this was a really fun read.
I assumed that it was the storyline which was not exciting enough for them but instead it seems to be something I have had issues with before, basically FLASH Fiction! I primarily wrote novels and short stories and it has been noticed before that rather than being self contained full stories my flash fiction pieces have either left people wanting more or been more like a set up ready for a longer piece. I did consider the type of criminal and in retrospect maybe I played it safe in my choice of wording and a more provocative criminal would have made more sense.
Overall I think the feedback is very fair and constructive and will be helpful when I try again in the next quarter, I just thought you guys might find it interesting to share this final part of this particular submission journey with me, now I shall get back to finishing writing another submission before starting a little research for my A – Z challenge.
Normally would get a story on a Sunday but today I am posting on something a little different as you know I have a list 50 Things Before 50 which is not technically a bucket list but works on the same principle well today I am going to officially cross one off….
I will be honest I chose to stop smoking not for health reasons but because I begrudged the money it was costing me not sure if the figures othis are accurate for me personally but it sounds about right
I mean if someone said to do this you would think they were mad…
but as a smoker is is pretty much what you do,
I have no intention of becoming one of those ex smokers who gives smokers a hard time, I am an ex smoker I will never be a non smoker, I will always have days where it is hard and they tempt me but I do believe now I can cope without them. I know there will be days when I want one for no reason but I also know I can spend the money on much better things and once I get exercising I will feel the physical benefits of having stopped as well.
The only thing I will say to smokers out there who want to stop is you can do it, it doesn’t matter how many times you fail because you only need to succeed once, and if you let people around you know you will get support I leave you with this just for those thinking of stopping and I am off to work out which of the other 49 on the list I go for next…
I am determined to be very careful how I word this as I am not the sort of person who wants to deliberately hurt someone but there is a person out there in WordPress land who has wound me up beyond belief.
When I first joined WordPress this person visited my blog and followed me, I of course reciprocated. Despite the initial visit never being followed up on I carried on visiting theirs, at first I turned a blind eye to their failings, believing them to be young and maybe a little naive but as time passed I witnessed things which annoyed me. I saw writers I respect offer genuine advice and offers of assistance, people attempt to engage the blogger win debate or to illicit some form of response only to be ignored or worse still accused of bullying. At first it was a little like watching a car crash you want to look away but can’t draw your eyes away, but finally I could no longer stand watching the way this person was treating people and I unfollowed her.
I still knew people who did follow her and would occasionally hear stories of had continued to ignore comments she did not like (her right of course it is her blog) but who she then also complained about people not following her on all her social media. Now this may seem like me being a little bitter she does after all have over 14k followers even though her average likes is 70 per post and she averages around 8 comments per post, but the reason this has wound me up is that once again she has sought out my blog (my photo one this time) and when it tells me she has followed I see this as the title of one of her posts
It Is Not About The Quantity Of Friends, Its About The Quality
Now as you can imagine my initial thought was hypocrite you preach about the value of friends not numbers then you deliberately follow more blogs looking for follow backs. I confess I left a message on her post expressing my thoughts and was of course duly ignored.
You may wonder why I am bothering to post about this other than to have a rant, but we live in an age where we have the opportunity to meet and interact with more people than ever before, it would be crazy to believe you will become best friends with everyone or that you can have hours of conversation on a daily basis with reach person but it is still possible to be honest and respectful to others, treat others as you wish to br treated yourself. I do not always follow back now as much as I wish I could there are only so many hours in the day. Many will have noticed that I tend to visit blogs in spurts having changed my notifications so that I can still get to as many of you as possible.
I have been blessed by having not huge numbers but people who I respect follow me, I have witty, intelligent people with whom I can discuss any and every topic, I have people who will not always agree with me but can put their point across articulately and appreciate different viewpoints. I have never once had to ignore or block a comment , and I hope I never will.
I just want to say a huge thank you to all of you who make blogging such a positive experience for me, it is sad that some people will never open them selves up to really get to know others or learn about the rich tapestry of life which we can now access, the hardest thing to accept sometimes is that there is just no helping some people.
Have in some ways had a really lazy Sunday morning sat around scrolling through the laptop but actually have been hard at work preparing to throw myself back into work mode at full pace tomorrow. Many times when I have done a piece of flash fiction I have been lucky enough to receive amazing comments requesting more, now obviously getting Voices out takes priority you have all been waiting far too long for it and I can only apologise again but surgery, family issues and the fact it has taken me longer to recover than I expected have taken there toll far more than I have wanted to discuss on here as I above all else want to stay positive here and not allow the darkness which has descended recently to pervade this space. Never-the-less via the lethargy it has induced it has but I have given myself a damn good talking to, and know the only way to get through this is to actively do something about it. So to that end this morning I went back read through feed back on short stories and have sorted those to be worked on at a later date into short story collections so far there will be a second ghost stories, one of relationship pieces, one horror and one post apocalyptic/futuristic. I still have a few other ideas and the Sunday serial may end up being reworked a little to make it into a novel/novella in its own right depending how I feel it goes. I do feel a little better now having organised my ideas in such a way that when new ones come up rather than freaking out and stressing about what to do with them I know where they can fit in. I also feel better in shelving the option of other novels and concentrating on short stories then just working on my trilogy in novel form, they I would still love to publish traditionally but know they need a lot of work for me to be happy with them or should I say it as only the first part is written, but the short story collections I am happy to self publish and hopefully if I can get my head round it it will mean you get more things quicker as all of them have a core of stories for me to build upon.
Anyway heading out for dinner with daughter this afternoon then will finish today’s part of the Dragon’s Mark when I get back.
Oh just a note for everyone with a Facebook page if you visit mine there is a picture there you may wish to share on yours and on your own Facebook page explaining why Facebook is making it hard for our posts to be seen and that only those who are actively involved with a page are receiving notifications.
I don’t normally do these but I quite like the sound of this that I am pinching from Gypsy over at Pieces of Me you can see her choices here
As you are aware that things here in my world are a little strained at the minute so this will be a pleasant distraction I will try to post the normal blog scheduled posts but if I can’t then at least you still get something Day 1 will follow shortly
Day 01 – A song that makes you happy
Day 02 – A song that helps you clear your head
Day 03 – A song that makes you laugh
Day 04 – A song that reminds you of something sad
Day 05 – A song that has a new meaning to you every time you hear it
Day 06 – A song you can always relate to
Day 07 – A song that is your guilty pleasure
Day 08 – A song you liked when you were younger
Day 09 – A song that makes you want to dance
Day 10 – A song that makes you cry
Day 11 – A song that reminds you of summer
Day 12 – A song that reminds you of your best friend
Day 13 – A song you sing to in the shower
Day 14 – A song you like hearing live
Day 15 – A song people wouldn’t expect you to like
Day 16 – A song that holds a lot of meaning to you
Day 17 – A song that annoys you
Day 18 – A song you have as your ringtone/want to be your ringtone
Day 19 – A song you’re currently obsessed with
Day 20 – A song from a new album you are waiting for to come out
Day 21 – A song you want to dance to at your wedding
Day 22 – A song that would be the theme song to a TV show about your life
Day 23 – A song that makes you angry
Day 24 – A cover song
Day 25 – An acoustic song you love
Day 26 – A song by your favourite band
Day 27 – A song you make fun of
Day 28 – A song that reminds you of your boyfriend/girlfriend (if you don’t have one, make one up :])
Day 29- A song currently stuck in your head
Day 30- A song that you haven’t listened to in awhile