My last post dealt with the passing of my sons great grandma, you would think that this would be enough to start a year but no fate is going to keep throwing crap at me.
This photo was just under three years ago, in the background you can see my beautiful girl Ruby who I lost last year to what we believe was liver cancer, and there creeping up to my son is her baby Preeya. She looks so different to the white horse that you will be used to seeing on my social media, she has grown up into a stunning, sweet natured girl.
Sadly we have reached a point where I can no longer be the one who guides her future. I always knew there would probably come a day where I made this choice but outside circumstances have forced my hand to make this decision quicker than I would have liked.
As a writer all I can do is try to take the pain I am feeling and put it to productive use in my writing. I had recorded a video when Ruby was ill talking about all the things I had learnt from being her human, I never published it. We have to take every experience we have in life and learn to utilise it, create something from the darkness and pain that enhances our ability to make readers feel all the emotions.
It won’t be goodbye forever, she will go to a home where I can still visit and see her grow up, I would have had to reach out to others to help me with the next stage of her learning but I wanted to see her grow up. Now I will watch someone else take her to the next stage in her life, someone else to teach her things I can’t and I get to watch from the side lines.
Paula Acton 
You’re handling it the best you can, facing the circumstances straight up.
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