First let me apologise to my normal readers because they know me well enough to know I don’t vent very often but tonight as I write this I have been so upset I need to get it out of my system. Secondly I know the lowlife in question will never see this because firstly he would never recognise himself as such and more over if he were the sort of person who read anything I seriously doubt I would need to write this at all.
I know Mr Scum that you will not agree with the title I have given you, you will argue you work and there fore cannot be classified as a low life or scum, yet let me point out that this evening I was at work just doing my job when you decided I was not worthy of respect. You approached my till and I could smell the alcohol before you were within two metre of me, you were struggling to even lift the extra beer you intended buying out of the basket to put it on the checkouts. When I told you I could not serve you you asked why and I told you, you requested a manager and I got you my supervisor, that was still not good enough for you you demanded a manager. That is fair enough and it is your right but did you turn on my ‘male’ supervisor no! You waited until he moved a little distance away to get the manager before you launched your attack on me.
I was there doing my job it was not personal against you, only that your were obviously drunk and I had rules I have to obey to keep my job. You see I need my job to feed my family, not that you care about that after all what is someone else’s livelihood when you want another drink, but I digress, as I say for me it was not personal but you made it personal I will not bother repeating all the insults you through at me, if I repeat that when your wife happened to call as you stood ranting you referred to me as ‘a fat ugly dog,’ (strange your wife ringing it sounded like she had expected you home hours before) I am guessing from the one side of the conversation I could hear she was telling you to shut up and leave and no doubt the poor woman had to listen to your continued abusive diatribe many hours after I was at home with my own family.
When the security guard came over suddenly you ceased your personal insults towards me, again was that because he was male and you were too big a coward to confront him in the same way, and when my manager came you happily accepted what she had to say, was it because you realised she was not limited in the same way I was in the courses of action open to her.
I have to remain calm and not allow you to provoke me but don’t mistake that for having no emotions, the anger and frustration I felt at having to take your assault made me physically sick, I hope that makes you feel like a big strong man, you chose to insult and abuse me because you knew I could not say anything back and in my eyes that makes you the worst kind of low life scum, it makes you pathetic and a coward.
I could not have my say as I sat there but I can now, and you know what I know there are more people who care about my feelings than will ever care about you. You freely admitted you had been drinking but you still believed you had the right to more, well guess what you don’t but what I and every other person has the right to is respect, we do not get paid enough to be abused, if you don’t like a companies policies write to head office but shouting insults at someone who cannot shout back is unacceptable.
I am someone’s daughter, someone’s mother, an aunt, a cousin, I go to work to support my family, you do not have to like me, I really don’t care whether you do or not but I deserve the same respect you would expect members of your own family to receive, and you know I have to be honest I could not have personally cared less if you chose to buy more alcohol and go home and drink yourself into a coma, your and adult if that is what you want to do with your life then you go do that but I do care about my job. I care about putting food on my table and paying my bills, I care about my colleagues who would suffer if I were to break the rules and lose the licence for the store.
And that Mr Scum is the real difference I care about other people not just my next drink, so when you crawl out of your gutter to go to work tomorrow probably telling yourself you were still right take a good long look in the mirror and ask yourself what sort of ‘man’ or even ‘human being’ do you see looking back, I at least know I like the one I see in the mirror and don’t need to drown them in a see of alcohol.
I would say have a nice life but I really don’t think you are capable of it but don’t worry I will be,
Paula Acton 
Dear Paula,
I’m so sorry you had to endure such abuse. It’s distressing and frightening and also infuriating. He is obviously a very unhappy man, which is no excuse to treat someone that way, but at least you can take comfort in the fact that you have a happy home to go back to, and you are in control of your life and your actions, which he probably never will be and which is probably why he is so angry at the world and taking his anger out on innocent people.
I hope you will be extra nice to yourself today, and collect a hug from your little guy, which I always found very comforting.
Best wishes,
Naomi
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(((squishy hugs)))
Some people just suck at life. :0/
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Dear Paula, first let me apologise on behalf of men everywhere for the throwbacks who still seem to think that women are here to be targets for drunken abuse whether verbal or physical.
Secondly let me say I’m sorry for what must have been an awful time for you. You’re worth so much more than this jerk and all those like him who thing being male gives them a licence to be stupid, believe me he abuses the privilege.
You’re a lovely person and I’m privileged to call you friend. Believe me you’d be my first choice over offensive morons like that and day. I note how he kept the personal insults until there were no men. A shame there wasn’t another female there to witness it so he could be shamed in public. I do feel sorry for his wife who no doubt spends a lot of time apologising for him as he won’t have the decency to do it himself.
I’m sending my usual Huge Hugs with a few extra for Valentine’s Day. Honestly, we’re not all like that. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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I know not all men are like this and not even all the drinks, over the years I have had to refuse quite a few people alcohol most shrug their shoulders smile and accept that I have to abide by the rules, I think what got me more is the fact this person knew I could not speak out in my own defence as such, that I was in a position where you are forced to sit and take it. I seriously doubt this guy would even consider himself to have been in the wrong and late last night after a wrote this I actually felt concern for his wife that she may have received more than a verbal assault because of my refusal.
Hugs gratefully received as always and thank you for your friend ship xxx
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You’re very welcome Paula and the friendship means I gain too.
xxx Hugs xxx
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As David says – not all men are like your ‘Gentleman’ – hopefully, he will be too embarrassed to return to your store.
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I know that all men are not the same, and feel a little better this morning, I think being in a position where you have to keep your mouth shut no matter what is said is what led to this post, my facebook status on my way home did say I hoped me met with Karma or a lorry I wasn’t bothered which, sadly I do not believe he will even see his behaviour as wrong.
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Let that be HIS problem Paula 🙂
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I know 😀
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It is the worst part of working in the service industry isn’t it? There are so few retail establishments that allow for the employee to defend oneself from the verbal diarrhea spewed from the likes of your drunken customer. Would have be difficult in the best of circumstances, ie) not being in a bread winner’s position, to hold my tongue and I ache for you in what he put you through. You are right though, this loser is a coward and a bully to boot! I’ll give a thought to his wife, but if she has any sense at all…if he came home spouting his garbage, I hope she knocked him upside the head and sent him to bed without supper like the child he is. Sadly, she’s probably emotionally broken by this scumbag and his liquid courage, as most who stay in that situation are. Be proud knowing you did your job, did it well, and protected your employer, fellow employees, and your own integrity. Let what this douche said go in one ear and out the other for it’s nothing but tripe and has NOTHING to do with you! You are a star, not to mention, The Queen! xoxo
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What an ass! Paula, I am sorry that you had that kind of day. That sucks! Abuse from anyone is awful, but from a DRUNK, raving maniac, it sucks worse, because they had a choice to be come inebriated. You are so much better than I. I would have plowed into him with both barrels as we say here! Lots of love hun, Emily
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I hate people like that, sorry Paula. Working in retail, I see a lot of people like that too. They get all pissed at us for following the rules. Hey, we’re only working here, trying to follow the rules. We don’t do it because we’re being a bitch or have something personal against them. So, I feel for you. You should be proud you did your job. Everyone should work at least one day in retail or telemarketing and maybe they would change the way they treat employees in that industry. I know I am more patient and tolerant because of it. So *hugs* to you, Paula.
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Paula, So nice to see these decent gentlemen weigh in. I am also sorry for every time someone treats you in such a disrespectful manner. Your “rising above it” makes you a beautiful and admirable person. Hugs, Maria
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In our office, I am one of 2 men in our department, which is credit adjudication. We do decline credit and sometimes we get THE call of the month. If one of the women get the call, and they are obviously getting beat up, I have them transfer to me. It is flipping hilarious how the conversation changes once a man is on the other end. Disgusting.
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He is a coward. You are a champion. 🙂
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I’m so sorry this happened to you. I worked retail for a long time and sadly experienced a lot of the same behavior from customers. I always had to work returns on the day after Christmas. I’ve been called every horrific name in the book and it sucked. On the bright side, it prepared me well for teaching high school.
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I feel for you but I don’t necessarily think he was “low life scum.” I think he was drunk. Alcoholism is a disease, but for some reason it’s a disease that is mostly tolerated throughout the world.
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Hi, as you can imagine we serve all sorts of people every day, this was not a guy who I would class as an alcoholic, he was a labourer/builder of some sort still in his work clothes, and one of those people who would not accept there is a problem with them going out and getting plastered on payday, which there isn’t unless you are an arse when you are drunk which this guy was, and that makes it worse, an alcoholic cannot stop themselves drinking whereas this guy chooses to get into a state where I am sure he has been told he is an arse on numerous occasions.
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