Stories and Lists July Blog Challenge 2013 – Day 28: List 5 things you wish you had said and to whom

people-talking-online1

Day 28: List 5 things you wish you had said and to whom

Hmmmm anyone that knows me will know that not saying things has never been my problem ask me things I wish I had never said and that would be a different matter.  So rather than list 5 things I wish I had said I will talk about the two people who I wished I had asked more of.

Both my grandads died before my own children were born and before I developed a real interest in researching my family tree.  As a result I am left with a lot of dead ends and lost opportunities to tell my children about where they come from.

My mums dad was a prisoner of war held in Germany, and that was about as much as I ever knew he never spoke of it and I never asked you just didn’t back then. But now I think I would have asked questions if not directly then I would have asked about growing up in a family that you felt so hurt by you lied about your age to sign up, I would have asked so many questions about his parents and knowing what I know now from my grandma about his family I would have understood him so much better than I had the chance to.

What we experience shapes who we are if we hide what made us who we are we give people the wrong impression of ourselves.

The same is true of my dads dad, he never mentioned family at all other than one brother who came to visit, maybe if my grandma had been alive it may have been different but she died before I was a year old.  There are so many not necessarily secrets but things left unsaid on this side of the family it seems impossible that the truth will ever be known despite the fact I could have been walking past relatives houses on a daily basis and never known who they were.

I would say if you have older relatives ask the questions, learn their stories, cherish their memories, tomorrow they may all be gone and then it will be too late

Advertisements

5 comments on “Stories and Lists July Blog Challenge 2013 – Day 28: List 5 things you wish you had said and to whom

  1. I bought a book in a discount book shop for my Dad to complete the story of his life; it’s brilliant got prompts and spaces for photos but the girls are teenagers so at that self-absorbed age but I hope one day that they will appreciate it

    Like

  2. My dad’s family was the kind that didn’t talk about things. Try to make sense of this though – my grandmother was big into the family tree, but because of things that aren’t discussed certain pages of history have been denied as never really existed – the other side of the coin is that facts are surrounded by clutter, so you have to dig to figure it out. I’ve figured most of it out thanks to the assistance of people who’ve crossed my path in life who love research more than I do. With the help of some of my cousins she put a book together, and I can tell you my name was listed wrong and my marriages (only 2 – Elizabeth Taylor still has me beat) ; you get the picture. It’s most likely part of my punishment for being a sinner – traditionally they’re old testament no matter what Jesus has to say, then there’s the aftermath of wars fought in, and they classically throw people away for whatever reason. My great grandfather on my father’s side married an American Indian who was later ostracized by “the family”.

    My great-grandfater and grandmother and my great-uncle and aunt on my grandmother’s side are the ones I wish I could talk to. I knew them as a little girl and I’ll never forget them.

    My mom’s side of the family is completely different. My folks were a mismatched set to say the least.

    Like

    • Between me and an aunt we have pieced together a few things which basically amount to the family having been catholic just a couple of generations ago, what really gets me is some of the things they considered to be topics that should not be discussed very often are not anywhere near as scandalous as we think they would be

      Like

      • Yes, I can only guess it was the norms of the times that made them taboo or condemnable by the church… As a child when I was forced to go to confession every Friday, I made up sins to have something to say. Where did that leave me… I tried to say that I had no sins for the week that I could recall and was told by the priest I had to say something or he couldn’t give me absolution. How idiotic of him. Do you think there might have been a better way to deal with a second grader and keep the whole blessed thing positive but the catholic church wasn’t positive then.Oh well…

        Like

  3. I’m probably about the least religious person you can imagine if you discount maybe the Devil. But I’m so grateful for the Old Family Bibles on my mother’s side of the family that let me piece so much information together from a time when there were so may taboo subjects WWI being one. Another problem is that as we go back different parts of the Country are much better at record keeping than others.Yorkshire seem to be the tops, Wales and Ireland to be the worst.If there are no bible to refer to for the future, boos like the one
    crazytraintotinkytown suggested are great. Each parent completing one for their side of the family for future generations.

    xxx Huge Hugs. xxxx

    Like

Let me know your thoughts.......

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s