Stories and Lists July Blog Challenge 2013 – Day 18: List 10 different categories you might create for different people if you were given the task of sorting people for some reason

Day 18: List 10 different categories you might create for different people if you were given the task of sorting people for some reason

Classification tree of the species Homo sapiens (modern humans) within the order Primates.

This is really hard for me as I really don’t like labels and the idea of forcing people to fit into one box disturbs me as we are all so much more complex than a single classification could ever allow.  But for this I will try and create some humorous categories that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be classified as…

1) Whovian – this is the classification for all Doctor Who Fans we can include subsections to show favourite Doctors and companions, most Whovians will also qualify for entry into the next category as well.

2)  Sci-Fi Geek – getting your geek on will henceforth be seen as a celebration of all that is nerdy in the world.  Without geeks and nerds the world would not move forward, we would have no internet allowing me to share my world with you all, so the next time you see a nerd give them a smile, I would say give them a hug but given their limited social interactions you may scare them so a gentle smile will suffice.

3)  Kylians – no these are not followers of the tiny pop princess, these are the guests from that staple of the student viewing schedule, yes they are the Jeremy Kyle guests.  Until recently we did think they were a species confined to the UK but no they have now been spotted in the US, while some have suggested that those belonging in this category should be eliminated we must remember they provide an important public service in ensuring all citizens have someone to feel superior to.

4)  Earthians – as we explore further into space it will become necessary to develop an identification others can relate to, it was suggested the term human would suffice however the committee of highly paid experts decided after ten years of debate that the term human was too similar to the phrases humane, humanity, and humility and the shortage of these qualities amongst many of the populace would lead to confusion for alien visitors.

5)  Pet People – obviously pet people have not only an affinity for animals but they understand that animals are family too and therefore when filling in tax forms will be allowed to claim for the furry family members, animal cruelty will no longer be an issue as any ill treatment of animals will be classed as domestic abuse which will now carry an automatic five year prison sentence.

6)  Medical Research Material – anyone who is found guilty of abusing children will be designated with this rating they will be handed over to pharmaceutical companies to replace any animals they have previously used for testing.  this will be a three-fold solution 1)they repay their debt to society, 2) it saves the tax payer the cost of prison fees and 3) no animals will be harmed in the name of science or beauty.

7)  Unique – this title will be applied to everyone unless they can provide scientific evidence of a clone, no two people are ever exactly the same and this status will recognise this.

8)  Differently-abled – this will replace such terms as disabled, fit, healthy and will be applied to every one.  There will not be one benefit applied to one type of health issue while others are ignored each individual will be assessed on their personal needs, issues, limitations AND most importantly abilities.  highly intelligent people will no longer be side lined due to physical limitations rather they will be assisted in fulfilling their potential.

9)  Narkisists – a form of narcissist who is so wrapped up in their own existence they fail to recognise the rest of the world is alive.  Many of these began as spoilt brats but real life has yet to bring them to their senses, they genuinely believe a deprived childhood is Daddy refusing to buy a new polo pony because the one they have clashes with the colour of their jodphurs.  While their delusions are mainly harmless, their total inability to function in society unassisted does mean they cannot be left to their own devices therefore they will be sent to live in Big Brother houses around the world thus ensuring they are cared for while providing entertainment and allowing them to believe they have achieved celebrity status.

10)  Writers – these people are a breed unto themselves, occasionally volatile, prone to random outbursts and sanity is often optional.  They can be frequently found lurking with note books in hand or leaning over a laptop muttering to themselves.  Should you become involved with one of these people then be aware that anything you say or do may be fictionalised and used against you, it is also advisable to ensure that a steady supply of coffee is kept available and that you never disturb a writer at work unless the house is on fire and then only when the house will burn down before the fire brigade arrive.  Any one employing writers should be prepared to have them drift off into their own world then whip out a note book and scribble before they can resume their duties on a regular basis.

Hope you enjoyed these.

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7 comments on “Stories and Lists July Blog Challenge 2013 – Day 18: List 10 different categories you might create for different people if you were given the task of sorting people for some reason

  1. Proud Whovian, Sci-fi Geek, Differently Abled, Writer. My local WI always smile when I attend meetings because they know I’ll be wearing a Who t-shirt, will be carrying a note pad (and often pickles, haha) and my text alert is an Ironside asking if I’d care for some tea!

    I think we all know a Narkisist… probably the same one(s)!

    Like

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