I am determined to be very careful how I word this as I am not the sort of person who wants to deliberately hurt someone but there is a person out there in WordPress land who has wound me up beyond belief.
When I first joined WordPress this person visited my blog and followed me, I of course reciprocated. Despite the initial visit never being followed up on I carried on visiting theirs, at first I turned a blind eye to their failings, believing them to be young and maybe a little naive but as time passed I witnessed things which annoyed me. I saw writers I respect offer genuine advice and offers of assistance, people attempt to engage the blogger win debate or to illicit some form of response only to be ignored or worse still accused of bullying. At first it was a little like watching a car crash you want to look away but can’t draw your eyes away, but finally I could no longer stand watching the way this person was treating people and I unfollowed her.
I still knew people who did follow her and would occasionally hear stories of had continued to ignore comments she did not like (her right of course it is her blog) but who she then also complained about people not following her on all her social media. Now this may seem like me being a little bitter she does after all have over 14k followers even though her average likes is 70 per post and she averages around 8 comments per post, but the reason this has wound me up is that once again she has sought out my blog (my photo one this time) and when it tells me she has followed I see this as the title of one of her posts
It Is Not About The Quantity Of Friends, Its About The Quality
Now as you can imagine my initial thought was hypocrite you preach about the value of friends not numbers then you deliberately follow more blogs looking for follow backs. I confess I left a message on her post expressing my thoughts and was of course duly ignored.
You may wonder why I am bothering to post about this other than to have a rant, but we live in an age where we have the opportunity to meet and interact with more people than ever before, it would be crazy to believe you will become best friends with everyone or that you can have hours of conversation on a daily basis with reach person but it is still possible to be honest and respectful to others, treat others as you wish to br treated yourself. I do not always follow back now as much as I wish I could there are only so many hours in the day. Many will have noticed that I tend to visit blogs in spurts having changed my notifications so that I can still get to as many of you as possible.
I have been blessed by having not huge numbers but people who I respect follow me, I have witty, intelligent people with whom I can discuss any and every topic, I have people who will not always agree with me but can put their point across articulately and appreciate different viewpoints. I have never once had to ignore or block a comment , and I hope I never will.
I just want to say a huge thank you to all of you who make blogging such a positive experience for me, it is sad that some people will never open them selves up to really get to know others or learn about the rich tapestry of life which we can now access, the hardest thing to accept sometimes is that there is just no helping some people.
Paula Acton 
What makes the hypocrisy even worse is that the blogger in question refuses to publish the most honest comments they recieve…
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Dear Paula,
I’m so sorry for your trouble. Ever since the time I started to blog, you have been there and supported me and it has been invaluable to me! I follow your blog and like it. If you ever needed a virtual hug, it would be now {HUG}!!!! Just know I love ya and rally for you anytime you need it. I even from time to time Twitter for you… when I can. Twitter seems to test me sometimes.
Anyway, lots of love, hugs and peace, Emily
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Perhaps the 14k followers has gone to her head. I would much rather have one truly awesome friend than thousands of strangers following me around with no idea of what kind of person I really am. I also like to believe in a little thing called karma. 😉
We love you, Paula! 😀 xoxo
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With the huge number of people out there it’s better to have an inner core of people whose blogs you follow because of their content quality. I found that many people who follow me will ‘Like’ the posts but don’t comment and the few that do, my regulars, have become great friends too.Not only have the followed my blogs but they’ve been supportive and helped me through some low moments. Those are the people I want to follow and whom I want following me. Those prepared to comment and be honest are always welcome even if we don’t always agree.
At the end of the day Paula, you won’t miss someone like that but she will soon enough miss the nice people like you.
xx Hugs xx
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Wow…14k fans! That’s nuts! I don’t understand how people get such big numbers. I’ve also noticed some people with large numbers like that don’t have many comments, which is weird. Anyway, I totally agree with you, it’s not the number, it’s the quality. And you’re a good quality Paula 😉
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I have to admit, every time I see a blog post aimed at an unnamed person who has done something bad, my immediate thought is “Oh dear God, was it me? What did I do? AHHHHHHHHHH!”
Ahem. Minor freak out aside, I totally agree with you. What’s the point of social media, if not to meet and chat with people who you have a genuine interest in, and vice versa? I know there are people on, say, Twitter, who pay companies hundreds of dollars to get them followers, and maybe that does help increase the reach of their communication/marketing efforts, but still … I don’t know, I think that if someone’s going to rocket to internet fame, they should do it properly — i.e., by making friends.
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it was certainly not you hun nor any of the wonderful people who actually take time to visit, the person I am talking about will never read my post lol
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Dear Paula,
I truly believe in quality over quantity, which is why I blog only about once a week. I try to respond to every comment someone leaves, even if it takes a little while to catch up, and that is where you really start to get to know people. I have formed some very meaningful friendships through blogging. She probably doesn’t know the difference, and that is her loss. My mom always used to day, “The best revenge is living well.” You have created a community with whom you interact and friendships that you value. I feel that we who follow you know who the real Paula is, and we value you too. If you have unfollowed her, then I would advise you to not let it irritate you, and never look back. Focus on all the other good things going on with your blog and in your life.
Warm wishes from a faithful fan,
Naomi
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Bravo Paula!
I think you’ve done a great job on this post and I think you are well within your rights to have posted it. There are some really strange folk out there. I don’t understand why someone would want to post just in order to up their stats. I think that superficial interaction is quite sad. I’m struggling to keep up with life right now hence I’ve not been blogging or following. My mum’s moaning to me about Spineless Wonders not being updated (lol) and I’m feeling guilty because I know I have some really loyal followers whom I consider to be friends and whose interaction I really look forward to. That’s one of the best aspects of participating in this. I think that if this person doesn’t change her ways she’s the only one who won’t benefit from the opportunities that this pastime presents. Hope you feel better for having shared your views. If not, I find that an angry walk often helps! 🙂
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This was well said, Paula. It’s getting harder and harder to get around to all of the blogs I enjoy, and I finally stopped following some bloggers who never come to my blog or comment. I don’t want to play the numbers game that some people are so obsessed with. The relationship is definitely more important to me than the numbers.
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I know the kind of person 😦 whats this follow back thing? 😀 Just here to read the quality of posts
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Paula I think like many of us, you have found the hole in the experience. So many people follow, simply to gain new followers but this doesn’t actually create reciprocity or even common courtesy. Over time, most of us learn to weed out those who do not create a good experience for us, either because their space isn’t one in which we find something of interest, because they aren’t good hosts, or worse because they are not good guests in our space.
If someone follows me these days, I think great. I don’t necessarily follow them back.
If they actually read and interact with my blog, I will always respond and if they do it within the rules of the house, then I might go check out their blog.
If I am following someone, it is because I am interested in what they have to say. If they are a good host, I will stay interested. If they are not a good host, eventually I will unfollow them.
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Don’t feel bad for telling it like it is!! You didn’t speak in an offensive way, just personal and with truth!
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Maybe I’m just being cynical, but I don’t think number of Followers actually means number of followers – more number of sign-ups.
Real followers are those who actually read what you’ve written. Likewise, if people really like it they’ll leave a comment not just press the ‘I’ve been here’ button called like.
Why can’t we have a button that says I took the trouble to come and look but it’s really not quite my thing?
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Brilliant post Paula. I sometimes get distracted by trying to decide how best to ‘get’ more readers. However I tend to notice that my writing suffers when I am focussing on the numbers. I blog for me, what do numbers matter. That being said I love when people comment and I can have a discussion about things.
And that’s the important part. 🙂
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