R I P Laverne

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAA week ago I wrote a poem about a friend I had made via Facebook who had made some changes in their life.  Changes which would lead to them being shunned by some they knew but also to an outpouring of support around the world from people from all walks of lives.  Not everyone reading this would agree with the choice Laverne made, many would say she should have remained Robert despite them pain it was causing not only to her but to those around her, but I hope that even those of you who do not agree with that choice will send your love and prayers to her family.

Her children accepted this new life sadly, though of course we will never be sure of the real reasons, others did not and on Monday night Laverne took her own life.  her friends are devasted that just as life promised so much for her the demons that had plagued her life made her feel so alone and worthless she believed this was the only option.

I can only take comfort that now she is at peace and cannot be hurt anymore.

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12 comments on “R I P Laverne

  1. This is a nice tribute Paula but what a shame it had to be written because of people’s attitudes towards the life choice your friend made. The damage people do by being cruel, nasty or just unthinking towards others is unbelievable. I hope Laverne finds the peace she deserved in life, wherever she is now. Much love to the family and friends who supported her, and for those who brought about this death with their attitude, I hope they will learn to regret it. xx Hugs xx

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  2. Pingback: Inside my head | barsetshirediaries

  3. I read your tribute poem to Laverne and had tears in my eyes. One wonders why people think they have the right to judge, criticise or comment on other people’s life decisions. I am so sorry that your friend was so overwhelmed that she resorted to taking her own life. RIP Laverne indeed.

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  4. Oh, Paula, I weep for Laverne. I simply cannot comprehend why people wouldn’t celebrate for someone who is finally figuring out, and who is courageous enough to be who she was meant to be.

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  5. Oh my goodness, this is so very sad. I read and commented on the poem but I didn’t know the back story. I wonder how those people who lacked the empathy are feeling right now. So sad. Hope you’re doing okay. x

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  6. I would have placed an army of soldiers around Laverne to save her. Before Laverne chose to acknowledge herself, she was Robert. Robert has been my protector, friend, and hero since the day I was born. You see, I am Laverne’s little sister. Living halfway across the country made contact primarily limited to telephone and computer. The day she called to tell me of her desire to live as she believed she was born to live, I gave her my blessing. I told her that I accepted her and loved her no matter what, under any and all circumstances. She shared her excitement of her liberation and her new found love for life. We talked about clothing sizes and a dinner out for sushi during my visit in June. My heart breaks for our mother who was beginning to accept this sudden change Laverne worked up enough courage to announce. The family members I have spoken to have not been cruel or nasty. Her daughters loved her with all their hearts. Other family members were passing on clothing and styling techniques. Two weeks before she took her life something changed. Her medications changed. I do not believe she took her life because people were cruel to her over her choice to live her life authentically, but rather a combination of financial hardships, physical pain, and changes made to her medications. She knew she was loved by her family and friends. Yes she had some challenges with certain people, but there was never a question that she was loved and I just want people on this side to know that.

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    • I am sorry if it seemed like I was suggesting that it was her closest family that caused pain I was referring to others who had been a part of her life at one point and seemed intent on causing pain, I believe you are right that no one event or circumstance caused her to take this terrible path, just terribly sad that for whatever reason she felt it was one to be taken, she touched so many lives around the world more perhaps than she ever realised

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      • I wish it could have been just love and acceptance that could have kept her alive. I miss her so much!

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  7. Laverne took her life on April 29, 2013 in the morning. Fifty years of age. My heart aches and the tears still flow. My life will never be the same without her. She is now at rest in the same cemetery as several other family members with one of those being my first born son. Laverne will be a great role model and a fun and loving aunt in heaven. Until I see her again, I will always hear her happy and cheerful voice as I replay her voice messages singing Happy Birthday to me. I Love You Laverne!

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