Research · WIP Wednesday

Fantasy Vs Reality


I have a lot of friends on here that write Erotica and will admit that lately I have been reading quite a bit, (Lee you might want to stop reading here – and Sammie and actually anyone that knows me in real life lol)


I am not about to start writing it any sex scenes in my novel are there as part of the plot rather than basing a plot around sex I don’t have the talent to do that well, but what it has got me thinking about is fantasy.  Erotica is based primarily on people’s fantasies diverging into many different sub genres to feed all tastes that could possibly exist.  The thing is as writers at times our imagination can lead us to have very vivid fantasies both in and out of the bedroom.  The question is can reality ever match our fantasy?


When I was sixteen I had my first love a few months of puppy love followed by the requisite mourning period of broken hearted youth.  We never slept together, so in my innocent teenage mind it would have been magical; roll forward a couple years and a chance encounter in a nightclub after the consumption of alcohol.  It seemed like a good idea unfinished business between the two of us, after we both agreed that though pleasant it had been a mistake, both of us felt disappointed that it had failed to live up to what we had built it up to be in our minds.


Last night I had read a post about fantasies and it got me thinking about my own, those I would still like to live out and those which I now concede are better left as they are.  Now for those getting excited I am not about to divulge those fantasies in detail here and now lol let’s just say that one of them theoretically were it ever to be lived out would place me in a position that could be potentially dangerous hence it will never happen, other fantasies include me not having control – well you guys know how much of a control freak I am that is never happening in real life.  The fantasy that I am most upset at finally realising I would now never act upon is my JT, now yes I live in the real world therefore know it will never be put to the test, he is never going to bump into explain he has split from his wife and beg me to run away with him, but the fantasy of it has been with me for thirty years.  Last night the sad realisation hit me as I was reading his autobiography in the bath that if in an alternate universe it did happen he could never live up to my expectations.  Frequently we see celebrities hauled down from the pedestals upon which we have placed them by showing themselves as mere humans, and on one level we can forgive them (depending of course what they have done) but what we can never forgive them for totally are the dreams they take from us.


Now you might wonder how this relates to writing, well lets all be honest we all have a writing fantasy or two about someone out there reading our work, falling in love with it, the offer of contracts involving a lot of noughts and film rights being discussed.  Even in some of the blog awards we share and love we ask who would play your character in a film then fantasise about our leading men, (I still haven’t actually decided on mine for the novel quite like the idea of unknown actors lol) I digress back to what I was saying fantasy writing comes with a whole heap of benefits while the reality for most of us is an inbox full of rejections then if we get lucky a small publisher will take a chance on us that will not allow us to give up the day job but will see your book in print.


The thing is this is one fantasy that it is harder to give up on.  We cannot all top the bestseller lists but we can all dream about it because in part this fantasy is not actually about anyone else.  It is simply about us, our abilities and our determination to succeed.  For some succeed is to write the perfect novel, to write the perfect poem, for some it is to get across and share a message but the final line is that it is possible if only we are willing to work hard enough, slave away at our craft, learn from our mistakes, take chances and risk failure.  Today I saw a friend of mine had received some news I shall not spoil it saying who but let me say I am thrilled for her she had almost been talked out of believing in herself, and into closing her laptop but today her fantasies are beginning to come true.


Believe in your own abilities, keep sight of your dreams and don’t let anyone tell you no – let your mind run wild with fantasies but only indulge in those that can do you no harm.



11 thoughts on “Fantasy Vs Reality

  1. Personally, I don’t think all fantasies should see the light of reality. There are things that just don’t need to go there. I do think it’s important to try out some of those fantasies to see if they’d measure up. It would take a large dose of reality and practical thinking before embarking on them. That includes writing.


    1. I have been lucky enough over the years to play out a few of my fantasies, most of the ones that remain will stay that way not only because I would probably cripple myself trying to act them out but also I am in a long term committed relationship and the fantasies involve third parties or are not appropriate any more, also there is something else to consider – when you act out a fantasy another tends to replace it usually more extreme pushing the boundaries that little bit further, I know that if I ever became ‘famous’ there would be some stories told that I really would not want my parents reading lol 😀


  2. I don’t think I could live out my vampire sex scenes from any of my novels, though I love writing them. I hate being bitten during ‘that’ and it wouldn’t be sexy at all in real life. It’s funny how a good writer can write a scene like that and make something as unpleasant as getting bitten sound so amazingly sexy it becomes a fantasy of ours. But-there are some fantasies I’d still like to act out but naming them would get me in trouble hee hee. And yes, I’m sure your friend is happy you’re not spilling the secret yet. I’m sure she wished she’d waited to actually ‘have it’ in hand before celebrating. Believe in yourself and never give up. That’s a powerful motto but one that is extremely hard for the super self conscious writer to follow.


    1. If you read chapter 18 of Q of A in fb group the bit about the horse… and susan both agreed we really liked the idea of a version of that just would never actually do it lol


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