Highs and Lows · Thoughts on thursday

So Much Going On

This week has been chaotic despite the fact that I have actually had a week off work.  First I got ill which took up two days of snivelling and self-pity, the worst has now past and although some coughing and spluttering is still taking place at least my mind has regained function on some level which is just aswell considering yesterday.

Yesterday I saw a new consultant regarding my ongoing spinal problems and there is light now at the end of the tunnel.  He was really nice listened to me patiently and fully accepted that I was not a surgery junkie and had tried living and dealing with this for long enough to actually make an informed decision regarding benefits and risks (it has been four years).  One signature later and I now have an appointment for my pre op and will be waiting for a date for surgery.  I will be having a partial fusion which if everything goes as it should will fix the instability in the bottom of my back and actually allow me to start having a real life again.

As you can see from this image of basically my spine will be given scaffolding in the problem area.

It is major surgery and of course there are risks but I have had plenty of time to weigh these up and believe that despite the pain and the hard work that will come with rehab after it will be worth it.  I haven’t really talked much about my problem here and I don’t want to dwell on it but a brief summary will help you understand why I am having this.

There was no real reason, no fall, no major trauma just a few weeks after my son’s birth a numb patch in the middle of my thigh and my back ache which I put down to birth was getting worse rather than better.  The health visitor told me to mention it to the doctor at my six-week check but by the time I went for it I could barely walk.  She diagnosed a slipped disc and sent me for physio over the next few months things continued getting worse rather than better and after an MRI scan I was sent to see a consultant.  Not one but three discs had slipped and within a week of that first meeting I had emergency spinal surgery.

Four years later although I am in nowhere near the pain that I suffered in those first few months I still have to take painkillers daily to cope with normal life and although most days I do have a fairly normal life without warning a can be struck with a pain which I can only described as having a red-hot poker rammed through my spine which literally drops me to the floor. Not fun for me or for those who have been around when it happens and can only look on helplessly as there is nothing they can do other than wait for the pain to subside then help me back to my feet and get me home.

The fact it can go at anytime without warning means no holidays can be booked, nothing that requires planning in advance can be considered and all travel is based on the consideration of how I would get back again if it went.  I also have to consider carefully taking the monster with me anywhere alone after all if it happened while I was out with just him his safety has to be my first consideration.  the op will not be a magic wand and take away all my back pain but it should stop these incidents and leave me with what I consider normal every day back pain which is far easier to manage.

All that being said I am going off for the day on Saturday to Tatton Park.

As it’s a coach trip for the day I am guaranteed to get back so it’s not too risky plus should I wake up saturday morning unable to move I only lose a tenner so these sorts of days are out are not to bad to book in advance and possibly keep my sanity intact until I can wander further a field once more.

But before then we have the big chop tomorrow…this is the planned cut though my hairdresser is contemplating something a little different with the colours…

Sadly she is not a miracle worker so I won’t look quite this stunning lol but hopefully the hair will.  I will admit I am nervous about chopping it all off now I have never gone this short before but the less hair on my head the more than goes to wig making for cancer suffers so its all good and I know it will grow again.  I have kept my hair tied up this week to get used to having a cold neck lol if anyone wishes to donate to the big chop my just giving page is here http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/team/locksoflove I shall post pics either tomorrow night or sunday.

My last news this week was the amazing Mel has sent me an image for the ghost stories collection which is amazing I just need to crack on with the writing and I will be previewing it here as soon as it is done.

Okay back to writing will also need some extra posts in drafts before the op as will be in hospital for a few days after the op, must also buy new slippers and pj’s lol

22 thoughts on “So Much Going On

  1. Medical issues totally suck – even minor issues can cause major problems that many people don’t take into consideration. I’m glad they’re getting to you as quickly as possible.

    The haircut is awesome! A few years ago I went for the Abby Maitland (Primeval) look, but I think my hairdresser can’t have been that good because it came out more Gordon Ramsay! I go to a different salon now, and my hairdreser is amazing.

    Looking forward to the pictures!


      1. Not just good, great. Stunning hair (a redhead? how lucky!) eyes and that mouth? Lucky girl, trifecta! Best of luck Paula…not just tomorrow, you’ll look great and I too love that haircut, but with everything. It’s not an easy decision, but having gone through years of similar back issues, pain management, never knowing when it’ll ‘go’…you have to do what you have to do. Finger’s crossed, prayers headed your way. May just have to come see you after all huh?


      2. Your daughter is absolutely stunning – even before the hair and make up were done!

        I’m another who should pretty herself up more often; I have partial dentures and mild psoriasis, but I scrub up well when I can be bothered.

        *says she who is long overdue a haircut!* 😀


  2. Paula, first, let me say how much I admire you for cutting your hair for Locks of Love. You will probably love the funky new hair style. 🙂 I originally read your post this morning on my Nook while still in bed. I swear, the more I read, the more my back hurt, and I had to get up. The scaffolding picture made me wince. I don’t have slipped disks, but I have two depleted disks at the base of my tailbone, and with nerves barely protected, there is some serious pain at times. Good thoughts and best wishes will come from me as you have your surgery. I will be extremely interested to hear if your pain is gone afterward or, if not, greatly diminished and manageable. … Your daughter’s pictures are beautiful. She looks so much like you. Have a wonderful time at Tatton Park.


  3. As Maddie said, your commitment to Locks of Love is awesome.

    My very best thoughts to you for the back issues. Living with pain affects just about everything, right down to thought processes. Hopefully, the surgery will make things easier.


  4. I’ve had back problems (a prolapsed disc) so I know just how painful and frustrating it can be. Good luck, I hope you feel better, soon!
    Its wonderful that you are cutting your hair for charity. I admire that and I’m sure you’ll look great 🙂


  5. Paula, this is awful, I can’t begin to imagine the pain you must have experienced. I do hope this will finally sort you out, I’m sending the good vibes your way!
    Is this in honour of Charlie? I am going to go and donate right now! Can’t wait to see your new hairdo – it’ll be fab! And, you’ll have the gift of time! 🙂 Take care, big (but gentle!) hugs and have a fab time on Saturday, looks wonderful! 🙂


      1. You are an ANGEL XXXX I shall be returning the compliment on your fantastic charity event as soon as I can. Hey and guess what I will be able to do again after the op…swim and exercise (gently at first with a physio torturing me) so maybe a coule of my 50 things have a better chance of happening lol

        P.S did the Udolpho post yesterday only a day late lol let me know what you think had some wonderful thought provoking comments


      2. You are so welcome! I think this is a wonderful thing that you are doing! 🙂 Thanks, Paula. I completed the first leg of my swim today! Next week I start the return journey… This is wonderful news about your op – I don’t think I could stand not being able to swim! 😦

        I haven’t read the Udolpho post yet because I am so far behind the reading… eek! I shall need to catch up this weekend! I’m sure your post will be ace! 🙂


  6. That’s quite the procedure, but at least something can be done to help you, that’s a good thing. Love love love the pixie cut!!! 🙂 i’ve never had the guts! Also, great that you have such a nice place nearby to visit. I wouldn’t mind living there either to be honest lol.


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