Four years ago today I came home from the hospital with my little monster. It has been a long four years with one thing or another. So I thought I would share a little of our journey. Monster was the child we weren’t supposed to have. My daughter was 14 nearly grown, I had had an early miscarriage and after seven years of trying we had given up hope. I started university, life was rushing along and breakneck speed then as is so often the case you stop trying then hello baby. I will admit that the idea of starting again scared the hell out of me. The phrase ‘you must be mad’ was thrown at me several times but a few months later along came the monster named after his great grandad. I was lucky with him it was the complete opposite to his big sis who I will tell you more about next month on her birthday. Labour was only a few hours and five pushes later he entered the world. After a sleepless night in hospital we came home never thinking we would need to go back.
He was a happy baby the only blot on our happy family was three weeks after bringing him home I started with back problems. Completely unrelated it was just one of those things that could have happened at any time the result of which was I had three slipped discs. There were lots of dark times in those first few months as I battled pain and depression but my little man was my shining light that kept me going. I could never have coped without the other half and his mum who lives next door but one and my lovely daughter who literally had to carry the load. I could not be left alone with him as I could not lift him from his cot or carry him so life was far from easy but he really was a happy little monster. In the decemeber I had my surgey and had a disc removed and thought that everything would now
It was a few days later the 6th of January when I experienced the worst day of my life. He had been full of cold and that morning was crabby and off his food a little. As the day went on his seemed more tired than usual. By teatime I was concerned and rang the doctors helpline, he had a rash but I had done the glass test and it went away they told me it was a viral infection nothing to worry about but you know your own child and know when somethings nor right. So on the phone again and again until I made them pay attention finally I got a doctors appointment if I could be there in twenty minutes. We jumped in a taxi to the local hospital to the out of hours service there. Five minutes later we were in an ambulance with lights and sirens going on our way to the other local hospital that had the childrens services. Monster was taken from me and I sat alone in a room until his dad and big sis arrived. We sat and waited what seemed an eternity. He had meningitis. That first night was the longest of my life as we sat waiting to see if he would make it. I will admit that night I prayed to every god, goddess and deity I could think of I would have given my soul to the devil to save him. They did warn us it would be days before we knew if he would survive but that first night we were taking things one hour at a time. I still can’t let myself dwell on those days watching him laying strapped to monitors, tubes feeding him. I thank the Goddess my little monster was a fighter and had the strength to come through his ordeal. And I know how lucky we were, others there were not so lucky. He came home with all his limbs intact and we started the process of rebuilding our lives. It has been so hard not to wrap him in cotton wool. He battles now with his speech and last year had his adanoids removed. We will never know if his speech problems would have happened anyway.
To look at him now you would never have known he had come so close to leaving us. He is brightly lively and even when he is living up to his monster nickname he makes it hard to be angry at him. I cannot contemplate what my life would have been like if I had lost him. I do have a friend who has lost two children one in late pregnancy and one age six months and I really do not know if I would have had her strength. I watch him with wonder as he catches up with his peers as his speech develops and I love watching his personality comes out more. I watch him learn new things like riding a big boy bike for the first time and the idea he came so close to leaving us seems so unreal. Yet I know it was so close. It was a few days after we had been in hospital and he had turned the corner when one of the nurses let slip that had we been an hour later arriving to get him help we probably would have lost him. So however much he my drive me round the bend I give thanks daily for that.