Paula Acton

I awoke early the sound of smashing echoing round the house. I turned to look at the alarm clock a blank display looked back at me. Obviously the electric had gone during the early hours, I looked at my phone 5am nearly time to get up anyway.

As I groped round in the dark to find the torch I had bought I came to the conclusion that shuttting off the electric had not been my greatest idea. Stubbing my toe against some invisible mountain I let out a yelp. Finally grasping the thin metallic tube I managed to find the switch and turn it on. A thin shaft of pale light illuminated the few feet ahead of me. I shone the light round me trying to gather the rest of my belongings. I made a decision I would not be returning to this house again. I could not imagine spending one nigh like this.

Another crash from below. Judging by the sound a shattering glass it was either the tv or window that had gone. I wondered what the neighbours must think whether they would come round or call the police. He had associated with them before we got married but as I explained as we slowly disassociated ourselves from them they were really not the sorts of people we wanted to have to acknowledge knowing in public.

On the left was a business man a little vulgar and common but respected enough for that to be forgiven were it not for his wife. The mail order bride as I called her my husband insisted she wasn’t that she was actually some sort of doctor but I didn’t believe him he could be so guillible at times. To the right an eldery couple from whom the odour of mothballs could frequently be detected. She talked incessantly of the days she had been a debutante young and pretty at parties with royalty. To be fair she had showed me a couple of pictures to back up her claims but constantly hearing about them was tedious. I thought it rather sad looking at her that the pinnacle of her life should have happened so early it had all been downhill since then.

I concentrated now on the task at hand. I made sure I had everything of value laptop, phone and the various wires and stuffed them in my gym bag. I swiftly sorted through the remaining clothing a few bits joining the already bulging bag the rest lay unwanted, abandoned let him do what he wanted with then like everything they were replacable.

As I struggled with the zip my eyes settled on my hand. The large diamond nestled against the elegant gold band. I slipped them off weighing them careful in my hand. I slipped the diamond back on the opposite finger and rummaged through the bag for my jewellery box. Opening it I retrieved a ring set with a cluster of smaller stones. This was the ring he bought me he had thought it showed how wonderful he was choosing a ring all by himself despite my pointing out the one I wanted on numerous occasions. I had worn this for a few days before replacing it with the one I wanted. At first I just thought he hadn’t noticed but as he slipped the wedding ring on it could not have escaped him he had never even brought the matter up

I headed carefully down the stairs and towards the door. By the entrance stood a small tables bearing a pile of mail I leafed through them by torchlight stuck a couple in my pocket. Then I placed the rings on top of the junk mail and left.

I was distracted all day at work convinced there was something I was missing. Something I had forgotten or left behind along the way. No one commented on the growing pile of my belongings in the office. Nor did they question why I remained as they left. I curled up in the plush leatherr sofa in my office and closed my eyes.

By now I was settling into my new routine up and out the door to the gym, workout and shower before work.  Stop of pick up coffe and a bagel on route.  Eat out at lunch, pick up take away on way home.  It was much like my life previous to my marriage if truth be told.  Of course I missed the intimacy of having someone to curl up next to on a night but once I moved out that could be easily remedied.  I had to be honest with myself I was getting over him really rather quickly.  I was angry rather than hurt just who the hell did he think he was, to think I wasted my tears on him.  Yet part of me longed to see him on his knees, to hear him beg my forgiveness, admit he was a stupid arrogant prat.  Would I forgive him hell no but I wanted to see him grovel.

I decided to finish work early today and headed back to the house.  I had actually forgotten in my musings I had had the gas shut off and the chill in the house struck me as soon as I entered.  He was back at the table now, duvet wrapped round him for warmth.  I looked over at his half of the kitchen and surveyed the carnage.  He had obviously tried cooking only to realise the cooker would no longer function. open tips sat next to the pan impotent through the lack of flames.  He must have by now used every plate, cup and item he owned.  without the water the dishwasher had been useless.  He sat surrounded by possessions he had sought to deprive me of that had brought him nothing but misery.

i sat at the table across from him studying his face.  he was beaten and he knew it.  All it would take were a few little words from him and he could end his misery.  Okay I wouldn’t forgive him but I would at least put him out of his misery in that I would tell him I was leaving in forty-eight hours.  But no he sat there silently, too stupid to even admit defeat.  Maybe it was his male ego that held him back should I be the bigger person and offer the olive branch.  “Anything you want to say to me?” I asked.  He shook his head and got slowly to his feet.  He walked like he had aged thirty years, shuffling along bundled in his duvet.  As he reached the door he looked back at me “And to think I loved you.” It was little more than a whisper and he was gone.  I heard the tv go on turned up full blast to drown out the world.

I thought about those words what had he meant? They had sounded like an accusation, how dare he.  Was he now trying to suggest after his behaviour that somehow I was the one at fault.  That I hadn’t loved him? That I was less than worthy of him.  He had a nerve.  I had given him everything he was an ungrateful S. O. B.  It would serve him right if he rotted here in his own filth.  I walked over to the plug socket and pulled ot the freezer plug.  It would be shut off tomorrow anyway so may aswell start defrosting it now.

I went upstairs to the spare bedroom and laid back on the bed and pulled out my laptop.  I spent an hour working on some figures for work before switching tabs and catching up with some friends online.  Of course I didn’t answer them truthfully when they asked how things were going there would be time enough for that once I was out of this hell hole and in my nice new flat.  I had been thinking about this house since I saw the new flat and it fell short in all departments.  The layout was all wrong the rooms too small I had never been able to transform it how I wanted it.  He had been so unreasonable when I had suggested knocking out walls or changing the rooms round. Well now he could change it all back to his cosy cottage look I would finally have somewhere with style.

Contented I fell asleep.

His eyes were puffy as I entered the kitchen.  For a moment it looked like he was about to speak but thought better of it. I headed off to the gym again I didn’t need to be in the office till later today so a soak in the jaccuzz occupied my thoughts.  After stopping of for a bagel and coffee for breakfast I called in at the letting agents. Three properties were available for immediate let fully furnished.  I made an appointment to look at the one I thought suited me best for that teatime then headed off to work.

It was a long day mentally, it seemed I was surrounded by idiots.  The simplest of tasks seemed beyond them as a result I was flustered by the time I reached the viewing.  It was perfect the person who had decorated it obviously shared my tastes they decor was subtle allowing for the decorations and accessories to impose a persons own character without compromising the design.  I saw no point in delaying things and signed on the dotted line.  Friday would be moving day.  My mind raced with the possibilities for my new life.  I planned the dinner parties I would throw and the people I could invite.  I would be able to have who I wanted round without having to worry about being shown up by his ignorance. As I headed home I called to have the gas and electric shut off. I told them we were moving as the person who paid the bills the never questioned it.  The gas would be shut off tomorrow the electric on thursday. I made a mental note to buy candles and a torch for my final night in the house.

I was literally bouncing with excitement as I entered the house until I saw him.  I almost waivered. He sat slumped at the table. Unwashed and unkempt lookeing like a wreck I longed to still go to him, to forgive him maybe if he had spoken I might he relented but he sat staring at the coffee cup in front of him.  Black coffee, his milk supply had obviously dried up.  I realised I hadn’t thought about what I was going to eat I pulled out the faithful mobile and ordered pizza. “Please will you just leave.” I looked at him.  His voice sounded strained as if the very effort of speech had used every ounce of energy in his body.  I considered my answer and walked to the dining room in silence.

I spent the evening in my room crossed legged on the bed laptop open ordering the neccessary items for my new flat.  Sheets, cushions, decorations to put my own stamp on the place. I heard him go to bed I waited until I heard the soft rumble of his snoring then crept downstairs. I moved as stealthily as any thief through the living room gathering a few items which I felt I had the right to take I had bought them afterall. I looked at the huge vases filled with decaying flowers, I norrmally replaced them long before they started to wilt.  Now they hung their heads in shame pathetic, useless past their prime no use to anyone. I turned away from them in disgust.  I took the few items I had selected and took them back to the bedroom and concealed them in a large holdall i would take them to the office tomorrow and hide them there until friday.  I gathered an armful of clothes to deposit at the dry cleaners the next day and fell asleep dreaming of the future.

I woke up feeling strangely calm.  Overnight something had clicked in my head and now it was in charge not my foolish heart.  I bounced down the hallway and jumped in the shower only remembering I had shut the water off after standing expectantly under the nozzle for a few seconds.  I considered my options I could go down and turn it back on but hell why bother I would shower at the gym I had time for a quick workout before picking my suit up.

An hour later exhilarated from the treadmill, suit cleaned and freshly pressed over my arm I stepped into my office.  Hanging the suit on the door frame I fired up the computer.  First on the agenda the cash card and credit cards.  I had suggested we have the joint account but he had argued against it, once the funds entering his account had dried up he had been more than happy to take the spare cards to my account I had offered him.  Well lets see how well he coped without access to the money tree.  As I chopped each branch away from under him I felt satisfaction at the thought of his free fall into financial limbo.  Next the mortagage it was due out in a couple of days, damn him if he thought I was going to pay for his half of the house.  As I called the bank to cancel the direct debit I contemplated how long it would take before the realisation of his stupidity hit him.  Would he realise before the letter landed an the mat announcing his arrears in blod red lettering.

The meeting lasted longer than I had anticipated so I was starving by the time I left work.  I thought about my half of the kitchen the thought of trying to create anything edible with the mircowave did not appeal.  I dug my mobile out of my bag and called the chinese ordering my favourites to collect on the way home.  I looked at my watch still time to make one more call.

I sat at my half of the table eating noodles from a paper plate.  He sat opposite me just watching, I glanced over towards the washer expecting to see it empty.  I had fully expected him to cross the line ad turn the water back on while I was out but the washing still sat there dried suds crusting the porthole.

The sound of an engine and clanking chains outside alerted me that the next blow was about to descend.  I watched his eyes widen as understanding settled there.   I waited for him to react but the only change was the tightening of his jaw.  I wondered how he was managing to stay planted firmly in his seat knowing his beloved car was being towed away.  I picked up my plate and threw it in the bin, I could get used to this, no washing up.  I grabbed a bottle of wine I had picked up from the shop next to the takeaway and a plastic glass and headed up to my room.  As I closed the door I heard him break down a torrent of profanities unleashed before the outpouring of tears.  I stick in my earphones and turned up the music on my I-pod, I unscrew the bottle and lay back against the pillows glass in hand and lose myself in the music.

It was still dark when I awoke.  It took a few minutes for me to get my bearings and remember where I was.  I lay in the dark contemplating what had happened. He was angry and bitter and that was obviously the cause of him acting like an arse.  No doubt he expected to go creeping along the corridor to our room.  Expected me to slid into bed next to him grovelling and apologetic, well bollocks to him. He would have a long wait.

I realised I was starving I hadn’t eaten when I got in due to his little drama queen performance.  I got up and felt my way to the wall and groped my way to the light switch.  Damn! Just as the light came on my foot descended on the open lotion.  A thick glob of cream shot from the bottle landing in the middle of a new trouser suit I had bought for a meeting at work on monday.  Cursing I scooped it up along with a few other items soiled by the errant cream.

I set off towards the kitchen planning in my head that if I put them in the washer now and turned it on as soon as it reached a reasonible hour I would still have time to dry and press the suit and wear it still.  I was about three feet from the washer when he spoke.  “You are on my side of the room”  I stopped he was sat in the corner of the room he had been hidden by the door as I entered. “are you really going to keep this up?” “If you don’t like it you can leave.” “Whatever!” I turned and looked at the floor then stepped back across the line dropping my clothes in a pile.  For the first time now I took stock of his division of our space. The table sat directly across the central line one chair on my side one on his.  His side also contained the fridge, washing machine, dishwasher and cooker.  I had been left with the freezer, most of the cupboards, the microwave and the sink.  My head now started pounding, I reached into my handbag which still lay where I hand put it on the table and pulled out some painkillers.  I opened the cupboard to reach for a glass to get some water, nothing.  The cupboard was bare. I opened the next again empty.  Then I noticed the stack of boxes piled in the corner, the idiot had actually gone to the trouble of removing every single cup, glass and plate from the cupboards and piled them up in the boxes. I leaned over the sink and stuck my head under the tap slurping at the running water.  I stood at the sink looking out the window when a realisation struck me. The food he had cooked when I got home I could hear him laughing as I walked to look at the contents of the freezer.  Empty the stupid git must have spent the whole day while I was at work cooking everything he could. I turned and looked at him as he stood by the fridge and slowly opened the door to reveal overstuffed shelves.

“Okay you want to play it that way, fine! But let me tell you, you are way out of your league!” I turned and headed to the dining room.  Sitting at the dining room table I began to formulate my revenge on him. I would teach him.  Who the hell did he think he was? So things hadn’t been going his way that was no excuse for this crap. I would make him coming begging on his knees.

As soon as the shop opened I went round there for supplies.  Paper plates, plastic cups and cutlery, plenty of pop, biscuits, arms full of snacks and crap that didn’t require his precious fridge.  Next stop was the laundrette, I dropped off the suit and a bag full of other stuff I could collect it in the morning on my way to work and change there.  I was by now feeling rather proud of myself that despite all his plans I had not turned into the begging wreck he obviously expected me to.

Now for the next stage, I had always hated the dining room. He had decorated it before I moved in, it was the one room I had not got round to transforming now I attacked the wallpaper with relish.  A sense of satisfaction permeated my soul as I ripped strip after strip from the wall.  Now there would be no choice but to redecorate, I had already seen the colour scheme I wanted he had dismissed it as garish but if he kept up this stupid game he would have no say it would be done before I even contemplated breaking down.

It was now mid afternoon and I was hot and sweaty from my exertions.  As I walked past him in the hallway towards the bathroom noticed he was looking at me as if he were trying to solve a complicated maths problem. I could literally hear the cogs turning.  As I slid into the warm water I considered my next move.  There was no way I was going to roll over and beg.  He would be the one to come crawling and i would make damn sure he did.  As I came out of the bathroom to make my way back to the bedroom he was there again stood in the hallway watching. I pulled the towel tighter as I passed him and shut the door behind me.  That would be his down fall the one thing he could never turn down, my body.  I rooted amongst my belonging until I found what I was looking for.  I sat on the edge of the bed and applied my make up first, as I looked in the mirror I realised that for this to work it needed more and reached to the bottom of the make up bag and retrived the bright red lipstick I had worn for a fancy dress party when I had dressed as a Spanish Flamenco dancer. I ran my tongue over my lips pleased with the results.  Ten minutes later I examined my appearance in the mirror.  I let out a groan as I took in the outfit.  He had bought me it for christmas.  I remembered the effort it had taken to smile as I lifted it from its box.  The red basque with black lace and piping was a perfect fit I had to give him credit for that but that was where it ended that he ever thought this was the type of thing I would choose it showed how little he paid attention.  It would be ironic if his own present was his achilles heel.  I adjusted the black fishnet stockings and slipped my feet into my black stilettos.

I peeked into the hallway. He was no longer there.  I drew myself up to full height then sashayed down to the kitchen.  He was at at the table when I entered I ignored the spluttering as he choked on his food.  Moving over the the freezer I made to grab something from the carriers I had dumped there when I returned from my mornings excursion.  I accidentally on purpose knocked the contents over so the spilled across the floor. Carefully positioning myself for maximum effect I bent at the waist taking my time to gather them together.  I could hear him shuffling in his seat I smiled as I turned slightly so my ass was aimed directly at him. The next thing I heard was the sound of footsteps as he ran up the stairs.  I stood up quickly banging my head against the side of the freezer as I did. Furious did not even come close to how I felt.  I stood dressed like a cheap hooker as I heard him move around above my head.  Then I heard the shower running. So I had been right about his weakness I had just failed to realise he had an escape route.

The sound of the running water echoed through my head then I realised he had the washer running aswell his favourite football shirt sloshing around in the soapy water. Water I hated that word.  Then inspiration. The sink. I had the sink on my side.  I opened the door and sank to my knees, I pulled the cleaning products out of the way.  There it was an ally against his madness.  I grabbed hold of the stopcock with both hands and twisted.  Tighter and tighter.  I heard cursing from above as his shower slowed to a dribble then stopped.  I looked across at the washing machine smugly, knowing that the rinse cycle would never complete hoping that the machine would stop itself unable to fill and his precious shirt would be trapped in there until it rotted.  Satisfied he would realise he had met his match I decide to turn in confident by the time I got home from work tomorrow he would have seen sense and the tape across kitchen would be gone.  As I passed our bedroom door I looked in it was open only a few inches but I could see him reflected in the mirror trying to rub the shampoo out of his hair with a towel.